Okay, so last week I was thinking, it sucks how in the Pokémon games you start with just one Pokémon, and by the time you find another one that you want to capture, there's no point because your starter has sucked up all the xp and is now an unstoppable juggernaut with no need for allies. So I had the idea that instead of getting just one starter Pokémon, you should be able to pick several out of a long list and start with, like, three guys instead of just one. It would be more fun that way, right? And then I thought, wait a minute, Dungeons of Dredmor already does that. Except there aren't any Pokémon in Dungeons of Dredmor. And then I had an idea. Anyway, here are your three starter Pokémon: Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. These guys seemed like a good place to start because, well, that's what they're for, right? They're starter Pokémon. Also, for the low, low price of only 500 zorkmids, I'll toss in this extremely rare and valuable Magikarp! (No refunds) Bulbasaur has some spells and stuff. Vine Whip deals / and has a 1/3 chance of snaring the enemy in place for 6 turns. Leech Seed deals to an enemy over 5 turns and heals you over 5 turns. Evolving into Ivysaur buffs 1 3 3 2 1 Razor Leaf is a missile that deals in a 3x3 square. Evolving into Venusaur buffs 2 2 2 1 5 1 Solarbeam is a beam attack that deals lots of and causes stun. Charmander is a warrior skill with some fire attacks that scale based on . Ember is a single-target missile with a 12-turn cooldown. Evolving into Charmeleon buffs 5 8 1 Rage is a buff that boosts 1 1 2 every time you get hit, stacking up to six times. Requires 1 mana every 10 turns. Evolving into Charizard buffs 5 3 7 Flamethrower breathes fire on the three squares in front of you, dealing . 7-turn cooldown. Fire Spin snares an enemy for 5 turns while dealing each turn. Cooldown is only 10 turns, so have fun with that I guess. Squirtle is a warrior skill because can you imagine a turtle as a wizard or rogue? That's ridiculous. He ended up with a million defensive skills, so I guess the turtle is good at defense, as usual. Oh, and it comes with these babies: Squirtle Shades, which buff you 1 1. Bubble is a single-target missile that deals a small amount of and has a chance of causing a 3-turn stun. 5-turn cooldown. Water Gun is another single-target missile that knocks an enemy back and deals a small amount of and . 10-turn cooldown. Evolving into Wartortle buffs 4 2 2 1. Withdraw is a copy of Duck and Cover from the shield skill. Does the exact same thing. (Sue me.) Skull Bash knocks an enemy back with a melee attack and gives you a 10-turn 5 2 -1 buff. 12-turn cooldown. Evolving into Blastoise buffs 4 4 4 8 2. Finally, Hydro Pump is a souped-up version of water gun with a 28-turn cooldown, dealing heavier / damage, knocking the enemy back further, and scaling with . Magikarp is sort of a joke, really. The idea is that the first four levels literally do nothing (actual nothing, like, they're blanks), then at level 5 it evolves into Gyarados and you get massive boosts. I have no idea how to balance something like this. The goal was to get something that's completely useless, but if you put up with it for long enough, it suddenly transforms into an absolute powerhouse--just like Magikarp. I'm interested to find out what you guys can make of it. Splash does nothing. Tackle targets an adjacent enemy for 1. Not your normal attack plus 1. Just 1. Super Splash targets 4 adjacent squares for 1. Flail targets adjacent and diagonal squares for 1. Evolving into Gyarados buffs 10 5 15 7 5 15. Dragon Rage blasts an enemy for 40 (see what I did there) and creates a damaging flamefield in a large area. 32-turn cooldown. Hyper Beam is a beam attack that deals and and destroys walls. The damage scales generously with both and . 36-turn cooldown. Dratini is a mage skill with some big spells. Wrap is like a regular attack, except it also snares and deals and damage over time. Twister is a short-range area attack. Evolving into Dragonair boosts 2 3 1 Thunder Wave paralyzes enemies in a 3x3 square. Dragon Dance is a buff that boosts 1 1 1 and stacks up to six times. Evolving into Dragonite boosts 2 1 2 2 Outrage fires off three area attacks around you, then applies a confusion debuff that makes your next three attacks have a 50% chance of hitting yourself. The capstone is Draco Meteor, which is a large targeted nuke spell (dealing to the target, to tiles adjacent to the target, and in a wide area) that applies a -10 penalty. Hopefully there are no bugs and it's adequately balanced. Also, you may notice I've given all of them weaknesses and resistances based on their types (so Squirtle resists conflagratory and hyperborean damage, but is weak to voltaic). This just seemed appropriate. Pokémon are a bottomless well of skill mods thanks to sheer numbers, so if you're getting a nostalgic kick out of these, I expect more will be forthcoming. I've already got some ideas lined up for Caterpie, Weedle, Pidgey, Pikachu, Abra, Ditto... Changelog: 5 June 2012: Applied custom damage scaling to Charmander, Squirtle, and Magikarp. Their attacks now scale with melee stats--or at least stats that don't get dropped by melee armor. Evolving into Wartortle and Blastoise now adds . Blastoise is no slouch in the special defense department either. Evolving into Gyarados now gives even more and because if there's one thing Gyarados does best, it's going haywire. Added a couple extra points of to the evolutions for Charmander. Everyone loves crits. Buffed the damage on Bulbasaur's spells because they kind of sucked. Rage now requires 1 mana every 10 turns instead of every 4. Vine Whip now has a 50% chance to snare instead of 33%. Although now I think I should probably just make it 100% since they'll resist it sometimes anyway. I probably also made some other changes that I forgot about.