Let's DIE in the Dungeons of Dredmor (Story)

Discussion in 'Stories & Fan Fiction' started by Alavaria, May 1, 2013.

  1. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    This is a story of a playthrough, using the following mods:
    This combination makes mobs pretty ridiculous, especially the (Uber) ones added by MDM.

    Ch 1: Audio Logs, in my Pocket Dimension?

    The machine looks old-fashioned, and should be well past any reasonable operating date, but seems to function just fine. Scratch it up to the shady time flow mechanics in Pocket Dimensions.


    Audiolog of ...User Name, on this day of ... Date.

    Is this thing working? It's making whirring sounds but doesn't seem to be doing anything? Bah, it's always hard to tell with things that one hasn't made with their own hands.

    Ah, I see. It's one of those Audio Log Makers. My old Master Mechanic used to say the best use for these is to make logs of critical data or perhaps embarrassing personal information and then scatter them all over without any encryption.

    Which didn't help him when no one could figure out how to turn off that Aetheral Compression Pump before it leaked so much Rarefied Aether that he turned into some kind of monster and had to be put down. We still don't know where that audio log is, or if it even existed. Frankly, after going through some of his more ... risque logs, no one dared to risk their sanity anymore.

    Oh, it's recording. Crap, it would be overwriting something important. Better ---


    The audio log seems to end here, and the next one is of another person who was recording some spells being cast. They sound very unorthodox, possibly even Heretical. Worse yet, you probably couldn't pronounce them even if you tried - talk about tongue twisters !

    Perhaps there are more logs around this Pocket Dimension.
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  2. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch1b: Cute and killy, they're diggles! They'll dig a hole ~in you~

    This is how a good conspiracy ends: target left confused (and unequipped!) behind a set of unbreakable iron bars in a dungeon full of dangerous and bloodthirsty inhabitants.

    Not really - that would actually be when the target dies.

    Well, you dogs, apparently you forgot that. However, I am still here in the Dungeon(s of Dredmor) with no weapons and my leather cap - with shiny cog -. And my shirt, but I didn't even have any pants or shoes on. Snap. But I do have enough little tools for building things, but nothing to actually use to build things. And a wand and some flasks of Dangerous Stuff, but those won't go far. I wonder if I can jury rig some -

    A small bird-like creature with a sharp nose for digging appears from the ground in front of me.



    I move to the side as the diggle lunges at me, trying to "dig" a hole into my chest. Whipping out my small Sonic Wand, I let loose with a blast of terrible music that knocks the diggle over. Jumping to its feet, the animal tries to dig its way to safety, and has halfway disappeared into the dungeon floor as I reach it. I give the unfortunate creature's rear the hardest and most undignified kick that I could muster. Remember, I didn't have any shoes on.


    That blow might have broken it's rather flexible spine. At least, I don't think diggles are supposed to be able to bend backwards that way.

    I need to get a proper weapon working. Something with range. And some armor. Something with weight.
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  3. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 1c: In which Magic is used for Science

    The Sonic Wand is empty. I tried to use it on a Batty that attacked me as I rounded a corner, but it fizzled with a loud bang. Which, while impressive, only hurt the creature's ear-drums instead of pulverizing it.

    So I kicked it into the wall like it was a football and stomped on it. Thankfully I have a proper helm, and thus made my leather cap (minus the cog, of course) into a set of boots, so I did not get monster blood all over my feet.

    Well, that's problematic, because now I have a fancy stick and a spent wand, and no easy way to recharge it. At least I don't think the dungeon has any handy Wand Recharge Stations around. But perhaps I could whip up something with these parts.

    As I recall, on the treatise "Magic and Science: Unified by Aether", the so-called magical people such as the Wizards are simply organic pumps capable of compressing Aether and then using the energy. Much like a boiler produces steam for all our clockwork machinery. If that is the case, then ...

    I carefully drain some Gnomes, magical creatures, of their blood and try to distill the Aether (or mana) from it. Even when kept cool, it seems to boil gently while I pour it into a reinforced cylinder. I slice open the end of the wand, revealing the rechargeable capacitor, which I then link to the cylinder with a small pipe. And for good measure, I disable the Aether Regulator on the wand.


    This should do it ! A simple pull of the re-rigged trigger on the wand should have it fire off the whole capacitor in a single blast, meaning a super-charged sound attack !

    Now I only need a worthy test subject !

    Opening a door, I find myself looking at a small set of bars and a lever. Without thinking, I pull the latter and am "rewarded" with the sound of bars being lifted. And the sound of diggle feet. Ah, this was a prison and I just let some inmates loose.

    As the diggle passes the corner, I smoothly side in behind it and get my left arm around its neck. As it squeaks in surprise, I grab the long nose with my free hand and yank hard.

    Oh -snap- ! Hah. Wait, it had a friend.


    I clearly wasn't stealthy enough as the diggle right behind the one I had just killed was looking at me with a burning anger. Its gratitude at being freed ... wait, couldn't a diggle just dig its way to freedom? No wonder it won't thank me.

    Hurriedly kicking it in the nose (see a pattern here, their noses are a diggle's main liability) I level my new weapon as it gets to its feet, and pull the trigger...
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  4. Kaidelong

    Kaidelong Member

    Man I hope to find that in clockwork empires. Weapons testing on diggles. Vivisection of them, only to find that they are a mass of lean thinking muscle with no internal organs.
  5. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 1d: Music So Terrible It Kills

    With a deafening blast that sounds like the albums of five different boybands played on max volume, the diggle is launched backward several feet and lands on the ground with a wet gurgle. Well, that is the very opposite of ineffectual.

    There's a gentle hiss as some Rarefied Aether evaporates from the end of the wand, but the device didn't fail or explode, so Great Success! A barely audible sound marks a small valve opening, allowing Rarefied Aether from the storage cylinder to begin flowing into the wand capacitor.

    I check the wand for any stress. No cracks, good. It feels a little warm near the end due to the energy release, but nothing worrying. Excellent ! Why did they make this things "disposable" anyway? Some sort of trick to sell more, doubtless. Or else the capacitor or something else doesn't respond well to continual use. Hmm...

    Oh right, the diggle. I hurriedly run over to it and inspect the damage.


    It's ... a mess. Whatever was inside has been pulverized into something resembling fine ground meat. Seems like the internal organs were ruptured by the extreme amount of sonic energy. I should probably dial back the power of this weapon in order to conserve ammunition. Such as it is, anyway, there's always Aether, but it needs to be concentrated in order to obtain any use from it.


    Well, Bad Music Projector sounds too unscientific, and Jury-Rigged Sonic Wand Weapon sounds too informal. I'll name this the Baromatic Pulse Device, because it uses terrible music to generate a high pressure wave that causes massive ruptuing of internal organs in soft targets. Like diggles.

    I glance at the clear cylinder with its rather cloudy contents. Not too heavy on the aether use, but this stuff is crap and will cause problems sooner or later. I need a much better still than the Porta-Still I have here, or better yet, a proper Aetheric Compression Pump.

    No way to set up anything in this dungeon, though. I've been stalking up and down the floor, but monsters keep appearing, probably up the stairs that lead even further down. For now, I "appropriated" one of the sturdy UberChest(tm)s and started putting my things into it. Fortunately the monsters never think to look inside, either because they expect it to be locked or they don't know what a chest is.

    Regardless, I have to find some secure area before I can begin working on something more effective. Like armor, for one. I'd give an arm and a leg for a suit of heavy Clockwork Armor. Of course, I'd just replace them with Clockwork Limbs anyway ... if I had the parts, that is.
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  6. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 1e: Sneeze That Eats Your Flesh

    I was thinking of trying to set up a barricade or something in one of the rooms to keep the monsters away, but it's pretty pointless because of the diggles. Would still help though, the diggles don't seem that organized and probably the sound would be enough warning.

    While thinking about this I crack open a door rather carelessly and ...


    *cough* That diggle just sneezed all over me ! *hack*

    What the. Wait this stuff burns, it's some kind of toxin ?! Slamming the door shut on the diggle I stumble back to my commandeered chest and find a small golden bottle.


    A Potion of Purity, never leave your camp without it. As I hurriedly down the curative elixir, a thought occurs to me about a better way to use my flasks of acid. Unlike the poison gas flasks (all now used up), the issue with making monsters stay in the acid pool rather than just shaking it off as they charge towards me means I haven't used them.

    But if I simply take the acid and make a corrosion-proof sprayer, I can get it into the air, where they will be unable to avoid breathing in the fine droplets.

    This will take some finesse ... after pushing the vending machines to block the doors, I manage to get it all together with only a few interruptions by curious diggles coming through the floor. Who were wasted by my sonic cannon.

    And it's done !


    I'll just call it the Acid-al Projector. What comes out isn't really just acid any more, but slightly modified to make it almost sticky. You won't drip acid if this gets on you, you'll be dripping dissolved parts of yourself !

    Warning: Device is very hazardous.
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  7. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 1f: In Which I Take A Nap

    Finally, finally !

    I don't actually get how this works, but I found a small jewelry box-like thing on the ground, opened it and found myself in what must be a Pocket Dimension. At least it appears to be a fairly large room, walled and floored with neat stone, but it feels different, somehow.


    The fact that there's (though I think that thing in the corner is a portal-opening device) is a sure give away. Well, I think the door-frame with wires standing by itself generates portals, but otherwise clearly the box I just found is the only way in or out.

    It seems that the previous owner wasn't just a wizard, judging by the smithing setup in one room. Fancy.

    I also quickly clear some assorted stuff of a few work tables and set my tools there where I can easy identify (and reach !) each one. No more running my modification projects out of a chest of random parts and tools !

    For now I dump all the random iron -things- I have in a corner for later use. What I really need is steel, a study, durable material well suited for making hardy items. Like armor. With the forging items here, it shouldn't be too hard to hammer out some decent protective gear; then I can think about some more ... powerful augmentations to them.

    I can't wait. But first, it should be safe here and thus, with my newfound security -

    Naptime !

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  8. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 1g: He tried to copyright Falcon Jump

    Quite a lot of the designs I was familiar with had to be heavily modified to run on Rarefied Aether. Sadly, there was hardly any explosive powder to be found in this dank dungeon, and it would probably be too wet to catch. However, I would be a poor Mechanic if such small things prevented me from making working machines.

    A powerful, and multipurpose design, the Arm Cannon, was easily put together before I left the Pocket Dimension. Unlike the Sonic Wand, there was no ready-built limiter, so I had to carefully calibrate the amount of Aether being used. However, it is a cannon, so some overkill is quite acceptable.


    The cannon is designed to take large-caliber (for a personnel-based weapon) shot, known as The Fist (the The is part of the name). Gullible enemy troops used to mistake the fist-shaped rounds for actual fists and think they were being attacked by robots with rocket-powered detachable limbs !

    More concretely, it can be used to bash down doors and reinforced defenses. A pair of The Fists with a chain between them functions much like chain-shot used by conventional cannon. And the cannon can even fire small canister shot, truly horrifying for enemy infantry.

    Captain Falcon, a well known figure in the Assault Knights, was said to be able to disable any enemy in close combat with a surprise punch from his underarm cannon. In very close quarters, the momentum of a powerful round can knock even a Clockwork Knight on their backs ! He named the technique after himself, though we prefer to call it the Clockwork Punch.

    However, it isn't as though many enemies of the Empire have such fine battlefield models as our Clockwork Armor ...
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  9. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch1h: In Which Energy Conservation and Generation

    You know, Rocket Jumping is really painful. If you haven't tried exploding your feet before, it's like that without a properly reinforced set of Clockwork Armor.

    I have leather boots on.


    So how do I keep both my feet? Simple, I actually used a rocket-like mechanism rather than just explosions. Fancy, huh? It was a mix of necessity and, well, wanting to keep all my limbs.

    Anyway, I set up a series of small vents off the big Rarefied Aether tank which point downwards. As you can imagine, when they are all opened at once, the sudden outflow of aether will send the wearer flying !

    It still stings, though. But better to sting all over than to be missing my feet.

    That aside, it's time to do some serious hammering.

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  10. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch1i: Who comes up with "the Armoring Arts"?


    Do you know what the difference between a steel breastplate and cuirass? That's right, it's the pauldrons.

    You see, if the pauldrons are made sufficiently large, not only do they protect you 33% better, but it lets you rework the armor into a set of full plate. Well, kinda, you'll see.

    And no, you can't take an ingot of steel and try to add shoulderpads. Of course it has to be part of the armor that protects your torso, it makes no sense otherwise.


    I put together a steel cuirass, made that additional steel ingot into a beautiful set of shoulder protectiony goodness. Along with a spear and shield I found lying on the ground, surely I could make a decent hoplite !

    Oh yeah, and that backpack? I've got big plans for it. Once I can handle the thing without burning myself, I think it could be useful for something ...
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  11. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch2a: In Which Not Just As Planned

    I blame the diggles. As I'm tramping though "level 2" with a very awkward set of armor that has a primitive exoskeleton strapped to it to support all my weapons, it occurs to me, as I kick a diggle to the ground and finish it off:

    I blame the diggles.


    You know, when a colony on the far edge of the Empire sends an SOS screaming that they are having problems with diggers, it usually doesn't mean their digging machines. But with all the Beauracrats in the frontier colonies meeting disaster left and right, there just weren't enough soldiers to send on what seemed like a routine request for some maintenance help. And they just didn't have enough prestige.

    Except that you don't ask for that with an SOS, they're kind of for emergencies. But yeah, they sent a maintenance guy.

    They shouldn't have sent a maintenance guy.

    I was the maintenance guy.

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  12. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 2b: In Which We Make Undead Dead

    As soon as I made my way down one of the stairs (having carefully exterminated all the enemies I could find on the first level) I realized this was a crypt. And dead things mean undead things, which mean more things to be killed dead.


    First of all, the terrifying Zomby. Apparently the remains of ex-adventurers, and a retirement plan - a permanent retirement plan- They care about two things: goose-stepping, and brains.

    They can goose-step towards brains with terrifying speed. And an important counter is to shoot them in the head.

    Thankfully their extremely regular march means that with a steady hand and a good crossbow, one can easily put them out of commission for good. But just in case, it helps to drag what is left into a corner and set it on fire. In fact, for the most efficient zomby removal, you can kill it with fire.

    But I lack a flamethrower. Or a shotgun. Or an axe, though I suppose I could try and make one of those. Hmm....
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  13. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 2c: In Which We Kill Death

    Also, there's a bunch of emos around on this level. They dress in heavy black clothes and wander about whispering about darkness, void and death. Very creepy.


    No, not them. At least I don't think there's some freaky death cult down here in the second level of Dredmor's dungeon. Given they are monsters, that would probably be better than if they were all homicidal maniacs, which I suspect they all are.

    Though there are some monsters that seem to be singing about how their wounds won't heal, something in their skin, I don't really know. I just waste them and sometimes waste their corpses too.


    But yeah, the Deth is really quite frightening. Even if their scythes can't get through armor, one will nevertheless lose life-force, clearly through evil magicks of some kind. Initially I wanted to make an axe or something with heft to deal with the Zombys, as a spear going through them has little effect. However, while the Zomby is slow and safe to close in against, the Deth has far too much range with that scythe.

    What I needed was more length ... and heft. In other words, it was necessary to "enhance" my weapon.

    Er, well not really, I made a new weapon more like.

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  14. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 2d: In Which A Crude Weapon For A Less Civilized Age


    It's a lot simpler than one would imagine. For one, it didn't need any cogs or metal ... gears.

    It started off with making a sturdy, and relatively heavy, iron sword - less the hilt. Then I took the head off the spear and attached the Dao (that's what the sword-like thing would be if it were a sword) to the end.

    Just in case, I also put a small hole in both parts and used some red string I had lying around to help keep everything together. And thus I finished my Guan Dao.


    I've been experimenting with that backpack thing. Due to the compactness, it could be useful as a portable power supply. But the real question is: how did it get here?

    I ponder that while going down another set of stairs, awkwardly juggling a shield, shiny green orb and a black book in my left hand. Really awkwardly.
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  15. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 2e: Where We Go Window Shopping

    So Brax - actually did you know that "Brax" is demon for "salesperson"? Apparently there's some problem with telling people your true name if you're a demon, so they just call themselves brax and we think it's a name - so I was talking to the brax on the second level of the dungeon and did you know that apparently they pay Dredmor for monopoly rights on each floor?

    Pretty crazy eh, but apparently they not only do that but have some sort of cartel agreement so that they can rip off each visitor to their floor. Not only that, but they also control the vending machines. Such evil merchants, they are !

    But the real problem isn't that they sell rubbish for high prices or give you little coin for good stuff. Sometimes they have nice things for ridiculous prices.

    Like shoes. :life:


    But there's one noteworthy thing. As an Imperial Soldier on a mission, I can requisition military supplies as necessary to complete the mission. Unfortunately, I don't think demons recognize the Queen's rule here. So that might be a problem. However, there are solutions to such things ...

    But for now I content myself with upgrading the pauldrons on my cuirass. This plus some random bits below the waist make it Full Plate Armor. Even though it doesn't cover the legs or anything. Crazy eh?

    But I do have shiny steel pants, for what they're worth. Not real armor as much as pants made of thin sheet metal, but what do the monsters know?

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  16. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 3a: In Which WAIT WHAT WAS THAT

    As I smoothly kick open a door, what do I hear but:

    Swarm their position. Leave the dead where they fall. The dead are useless.

    Oh no, disasteriffic !


    Dun dun... DUNNNNNN !!!


    Dredmor's hordes come pouring out of the open doors, surrounding me in an instant.




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  17. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 3b: In Which WRRRRYYYYYYYY

    *ping* *ping* *ping*

    A handful of relatively small monsters are left scratching at a solid door at the back of the "monster zoo". They can't open doors to save their lives.

    *ping* *ping* *ping*

    Diggle: "I'm getting out of here!!"

    The scratching sound of a few diggles "evacuating" fills the air, as does the sound of heavy footsteps.

    *ping* *ping* *ping*

    ~monsterous screams~

    *ping* *ping* *ping*



    I leave the bloody cadavers bolted to the door as I kick it open. The enemies filling the room like an overfull balloon have been popped with lethal force.

    Only moments are required to reload my semi-automatic crossbow with another clip of bolts, which is done automatically as I scan the floor for anything useful.


    I was hoping for something better.
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  18. Alavaria

    Alavaria Member

    Ch 3c: In Which One Counts One's Fortune


    Sometimes, luck does not come on the wings of gratuitous massacre of dungeon inhabitants. But it might help make the next one easier :)

    As mentioned, I made some shiny pants. Well I actually put armor on them, which means my "Full Plate Armor" now covers my legs. But not my hands or lower arms, mind you !! Granted, the latter are already weighed down with heavy weaponry.


    I've refined my "rocket jump" strategy. Not only have the new vents worked wonders for avoiding self-harm, I found two axes and a crossbow that will somehow provide additional protection against rarefied aether burns. How? Magic. Or aether. Maybe they have fields that repulse the vented aether? Who knows, the world sure is amazing !

    In any case, holding these items reduces the pain of an explosive escape significantly, which is what matters.


    No way am I selling that, I need it to compress and rareify the aether. Granted, the rarefication process is very troublesome and quite inefficient, but what can I say, clearly the built-in generator was not intended for such use. I have to be careful and monitor its condition.
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