In which Banjo dies again.

Discussion in 'Stories & Fan Fiction' started by banjo2E, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. banjo2E

    banjo2E Member

    Things were finally going well.

    Banjo had died dozens of times in a row. He knew he should be doing better than this, even though he was attempting to perform his task on the hardest possible difficulty setting; everyone else who had defeated Dredmor on this difficulty swore that Promethean magic, Golemancy, Blood Magic, and Archaeology were all you actually needed; if you had those, your remaining three skills could be just about anything. Banjo fit this profile quite well (his other three skills being Burglary, Meteorology, and Magikarp) and therefore should be able to proceed through the dungeon with all haste.

    Unfortunately, this was not the case. When he didn't die repeatedly on the first floor to slimes and Diggles before he could gain his first two levels, he lasted for another level or two before inevitably encountering a named monster who should not have appeared for another five levels of dungeon, at the very least, and being summarily dismissed.

    But this time, this time things were going his way. Krong had cursed all but his first artifact, as usual, but the curse effects were pointless things like wand lore and sneak. He had received an amulet on the first floor that shot birds at his enemies every so often when he hit them. A monster zoo had given him a decent jacket and a most wonderful orb. He'd managed to hit level ten, and had all of his defensive abilities learned. Next level he'd learn how to summon thaumites, and at that point it should be smooth enough sailing that he could finally put his very first ever point into Magikarp. At the moment he had to clear out his filled inventory, so he was heading back to the nearest shop on this floor to unload.

    The flash-whoosh of a teleporter interrupted his thoughts. He glanced at the surrounding dungeon and realized that the walls were now made of stone rather than metal plating.

    Sweating profusely, he glanced at the enchanted map he'd received for completing his dungeoneering courses.

    Level 0.

    He lasted for five rooms of utter chaos, including his first sight of a Muscle Diggle, before dying to a slime monster. Again.

    As Banjo prepared to enter the dungeon once again, he vowed to show even less mercy to Cosbian Horrors than he already did to all the other monsters.
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  2. banjo2E

    banjo2E Member


    Banjo felt conflicted.

    On the one hand, he'd heard that the artifact known as the Eater of Beatings was so powerful that the Anvil God, Krong, was actually afraid to curse it. For this reason it was quite possibly the most potent offensive and defensive sigil in the known universe.

    On the other hand, he suspected that the shopkeeper was trying to scam him.

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  3. banjo2E

    banjo2E Member


    Banjo was afraid.

    He had spent quite a long time in this monster zoo. He hadn't taken significant damage at any point, but the sheer fire resistance of the magic armors and Thermoblobbies had made the battle a war of attrition.

    This was not what he was worried about, though.

    If the enchantments on the magic ring he'd found after slaying all the monsters granted mediocre constitution, he was very, very worried at what awaited him further down...


    (That particular run of the game's EXE made everything really pixellated for some reason. I guess some of the post-proccessing failed to start? I don't understand how this could happen though.)
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  4. tejón

    tejón Member

    re: pixels -- probably smooth scaling got somehow disabled in your options? (Personally I disable it because I <3 pixels.)