Dredmor Poetry

Discussion in 'Dungeons of Dredmor General' started by Grey, Nov 9, 2011.

  1. Grey

    Grey Member

    A Rogue's Adventure

    Through dungeons fell and halls so grim,
    I sleuth, I sneak, in silence creep,
    Further searching through the dim
    For treasures hidden in the deep.

    Rings slid from skeletal hands,
    I want them so, they need them less.
    Ignore the Goddess' quaint commands,
    Her petty gifts do not impress.

    I run as sharp-nosed diggles chase,
    Whilst plundering their nests of grime,
    Stolen yolk drips down my face,
    A statue falls - heroic crime!

    A locked chest makes my eyebrows twitch,
    Inviting thoughts of precious plunder,
    Will I be gifted, will I be rich?
    No! A monster bursts from under!

    I sneak, I snitch, I trap, I shoot,
    Unfair tactics at their best,
    But all are vain, my powers mute,
    As the horror slashes 'cross my chest.

    I flee! The nearest door compels,
    I hope for route to safe belows,
    But ah, beyond a zoo of madness dwells!
    Hope dies first, body follows.
     
    k0rd, Essence, Sade and 5 others like this.
  2. kuhchung

    kuhchung Member

  3. blob

    blob Member

    Genius.
     
  4. kuhchung

    kuhchung Member

    stolen _yolk_ drips down my face?
     
  5. Grey

    Grey Member

    Typo, what typo? ;)
     
  6. Grey

    Grey Member

    A Mold Romance

    I watch the corpses fall in scores,
    Then move in with my precious spores,
    Yearning for fungal allures,
    I want to see their beauteous bloom!

    In the heat of battle I feel no pain
    Under the 'fluence of lobstermane,
    Grunge ear growing through my veins,
    I will not fall amidst this gloom!

    Truffle and agaric give me might,
    The Prince will last throughout the fight,
    My powers fueled by cap of night,
    Monsters, prepare to find thy tomb!

    Blobbies, beware of my true slime!
    As toxic clouds kill in time,
    Oh Mushroom Beast, dismiss this grime!
    By Shuggoth's powers meet thy doom!

    Blungecap's greed makes gain from strife,
    Fairywodger restores my life,
    Through dungeons mold-growth is now rife,
    Fear the 'shroom, FEAR THE 'SHROOM!!!
     
    Sade, kuhchung, brobbeh and 1 other person like this.
  7. blob

    blob Member

    Hahaha this should be incorporated in the game like the texts on the tombs of the second level !
     
  8. Grey

    Grey Member

    The Curious Mage

    I played with fire, I toyed in ice,
    I walked the leys so fabulous,
    I turned to dark-spawned powers of vice,
    And even dabbled in calculus.

    I conquered minds, I drank of souls,
    I drew down strength from pure starlight,
    I clothed in flesh of young and old,
    My moustache golems flexed their might.

    So many scores of monsters slain,
    Braised and burst and thaumite smothered,
    But my powers were naught, my magic vain,
    When in the lutefisk cube I placed another...
     
    Marak, kuhchung, Daynab and 2 others like this.
  9. Essence

    Essence Will Mod for Digglebucks

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
     
  10. kuhchung

    kuhchung Member

    That final line in The Curious Mage took me a while to get :(
     
  11. Grey

    Grey Member

    Do the T'Char Dance!

    The T'Char Dance,
    Oh the T'Char Dance!
    Grab your belt tight
    And move those pants!

    Consume the root,
    And suffer you shall,
    By the dance dance dance
    Unstoppable!
    Dance six steps
    You'll feel so dark,
    Three more and jump
    With a blasting spark!
    Dance five steps
    And jump through fire,
    Nine more steps
    And the flames reach higher!

    The T'Char Dance,
    Oh the T'Char Dance!
    The root's digestin',
    As you wildly prance!

    One step and jump
    With a little blast,
    Eight more beats
    For a heatrune vast,
    Dance four steps
    To inscribe the floor,
    Dance aside
    To burn some more!
    Two more steps,
    Explosions placed,
    Four beats more,
    Jump with haste!

    The T'Char Dance,
    Oh the T'Char Dance!
    The floor's on fire
    With unholy chants!

    Last four steps
    About the room
    To now unleash
    Tentacular Doom!
    Open six mouths
    Sing with tongues!
    As tentacles burst
    From your lungs!
    T'Char's here!
    Dance those feet!
    The end of the world
    To a funky beat!
     
    Marak, Sade, Essence and 1 other person like this.
  12. Null

    Null Will Mod for Digglebucks

    Well each of those lines is only true 30-50% of the time now.
     
    Essence likes this.
  13. Grey

    Grey Member

    Really? Damn... Could rewrite I guess. What's the new rules exactly?

    Incidentally, I wrote this in memory of my first attempt at trying out one of these roots. I was curious why it cost so much in a vending machine, didn't notice much different upon eating, and then proceeding to be immensely flummoxed by the chaos that followed. What fun :)
     
  14. Null

    Null Will Mod for Digglebucks

    Now each of individual effects has a random chance of activating, either 30 or 50% of the time, in 1.7
    So yes more randomness for more fun.
     
  15. kuhchung

    kuhchung Member

    Who cares, the poem is great regardless!
     
  16. Null

    Null Will Mod for Digglebucks

    Yes but you have to skip lines randomly while you read it.
     
    brobbeh likes this.
  17. RadiantDash

    RadiantDash Member

    Sorry for bumping such an old thread but it's highly amusing and everyone should read it.
     
  18. Arron Syaoran

    Arron Syaoran Member

    ROFLOL, no need to bump, tbh I came here to see why you replied. At least it isn't Furry RP. Don't know what vining would think of said poetry, though.

    Edit: while making that post I just made, I somehow feel inclined to make my post rhyme. Not gonna happen unless by mistake.